GL_*****_SHADER vs GL_*****_SHADER_ARB?

Should I be using the ARB extension in my 3D application? My understanding is that ARB is not so much the write choice for faster gaming cards (a la ATI and nVidia’s gaming offerings). Would that be correct?

if an ARB extension is supported by all major IHV (in that case you imply that your market is windows amd+nvidia), then there should be no issue using them.
please note that most major ARB extensions are currently supported in the latest core specification of opengl.

Should I be using the ARB extension in my 3D application?

What extension are you talking about, specifically?